Giving a wedding present or gift is a great way to congratulate the newlyweds, but how much should you spend?  Are you spending enough?

When I got married, I really didn’t look at how much people spent, but I did notice whether or not they got me something that was on my registry.  Heck, even more so than that, I looked at whether they got me something useful.  My husband and I got a good laugh when we opened up a present from an uncle and it was 1 towel for a local linen company.  Who the heck gives just one towel that doesn’t even match the rest of my house wares?  - needless to say.. That uncle was from my husband’s side of the family.

So what’s the best way to make sure that you’re spending enough?
Over at MyWedding.com, the co-founder, Rob Johnsen recommends considering how close you are to the couple getting married.  If the couple are “two of your most cherished friends or relatives” expect to spend about $200, if they’re people you value but don’t communicate regularly or see often than spend between $50 and $100, and a couple who you don’t know very well would receive a gift worth $50 or under.

This question was recently asked over at idosugar and some of the readers chimed in with their own comments:

I determine it by how close of a friend/family member they are, and how much we spent to attend the wedding. If it was a local wedding I usually spend more-a little less if we had to travel. And I hate giving checks-it feels strange to give my friends monetary gifts. I much prefer giving an actual gift.

Comment:

I am from the Midwest, and I think the standard is still $100 per person. I also live in Chicago, so maybe that makes a difference. So does being Polish. But even at non-Polish weddings most people I know give at least $100 per person … more for the closest friends and family.

Comment:

I’m also from the Midwest, and $200 seems steep to me. I didn’t get any gifts more than maybe $50-75 from anyone except my parents and mother in law (who paid for our catering). I didn’t expect it, though. One of my best friends did sort of cheap out and it irked me - she got me a very inexpensive mirror/candleholder. I like it, but I always thought she could have put a little more into the whole thing. It was disappointing, but I didn’t hold it against her. She’s not much of a gift person.

I don’t get too many wedding invitations, and that’s a good thing. I enjoy attending if I like the person (i.e. a friend), but for acquaintances and relatives like cousins, I don’t feel any obligation. If I attend those sort of weddings, I usually give a gift around $50 or so.

I have to admit, that I haven’t given gifts to my two closest friends, and niether of them expected one. That being said, I was both of thier maids of honour. With all the costs involved, including travel for one, the need for a ‘gift’ was less important than the fact that I was there to share and support through every stage of thier big day.

Comment:

I am by NO means rolling around in money — I’m a poor Ph.D. student, working 80 hours per week in the lab making $24,000/year, but I would never, EVER give less than $100 for a wedding gift. Usually, I give closer to the $200 range, more for closer friends. It’s a (hopefully) once in a lifetime event!

Comment:

In the Russian community, it is customary to give money, at least $100/person. If it’s someone that’s really close, me and my fiance will give $200 (for the both of us.) For our wedding we expect people to give at least the same. The assumption is that you are ‘paying’ for your place at the wedding, and there aren’t any connotations of cash-only being tacky. In fact, it’s really awesome because we don’t have to do a registry!

Comment:

I usually give about a $100-$150 depending on who it is. I know this is awful but I try and base gifts on what certain couples gave me for my wedding. If someone gave me a $30 gift for my wedding then I am not going to be giving them a huge gift at their wedding. Is that wrong?

Comment:

I think weddings are pretty much stupid, over-hyped, and a huge waste of money. My husband and I decline any invitations we get. We figure since your wedding is going to be boring anyways, and you’ll be too wrapped up in your family/new husband to notice if we’re there or not, we’ll just stay at home (or go have some fun of our own!), send you a card, and you can buy your own damn gift with the money you save on two less guests. Works for everyone!

Comment:

I attended a wedding last month and even though I’ve known the bride for almost 20 years, I could only afford a gift in the $50 range because I just have too many financial obligations right now. (And also because I flew from the East Coast to the West Coast for her wedding.) It really all depends on your budget. Another friend of mine got married last fall and because I was a bridesmaid and spent over $1K on the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid alone, I didn’t have all that much left for her wedding gift. Sigh.